I used to have an ass, now it seems to have redistributed itself to my waist. Dear God, please give me my ass back. Or bring me an even better ass, A shelf ass or a bodokidonk ass, or a nice ghetto ass. Thank you, Asses: White ass Lard ass Bad ass Sad ass Hard ass Cheap ass Skinny ass… Read more →

Last night I went out. No, it wasn't a date, no really it wasn't. But this guy has it goin' on and can vouch for that. We love him. Anyway, We went out for sushi at an amazing and secret place. I realized then, that I would be marrying a crab handroll. Anyway, this gentlemen had been doing a little… Read more →

After 8 years of being in a monogamous, at least my side of it, relationship I imagined dating as an exciting barbie-esq ritual where boys named brad would pick me up at my townhouse in their red two seat convertible. Me at the barbie townshouse standing ten heads high with my feet in a perpetually flexed position, they would pick… Read more →

when I was in pre-school my best friend was John Jeramiah, besides singing “Jeramiah was a bullfrog” to him, my other favorite game was airplane crash. We would take off all of our clothes and wrap ourselves in plastic from the dry cleaners and wait for the medics to remove our bodies. We played this on the same day that… Read more →

Hello, May I have it all please? Thank-you, Read more →

no comment Read more →

Fly now, ask questions later. 1. Where am I? 2. How do I get back? 3. Why do I fly all crazy and shit? Read more →

It is as if there‚s a part of us that's asleep. That needs to be awakened. So what if we went to sleep to the place where we make our dreams and found out what our fears are that prevent us from waking up and making our dreams come true. T sent this to me. She is the best Read more →

Not really datey, we went on a hike. He brought a nice dog. It was fine. That is all. He is someone that would be fun to see at a party or go somewhere with. Read more →

He is a full grown man and unfortunately he is already involved. I enjoy him none the less and actually feel some chemistry. Shock. Seems the minute they are ripe someone snatches them up Read more →

A bird shit on my car. How is it possible that one bird could contain so much shit? Perhaps it was a highly coordinated attack, with many shitters aiming at the same coordinates. Read more →

We drink tea and chat about boys… and girls… He is not my boyfriend, he is my girlfriend. Yes it is true,He is actually a women. No he is not. I don't know. He is my friend now, So I shall stop calling him bachelor #3 and start calling him girlfren'. Read more →

Sometimes I love my body naked I feel all decked out in skin Read more →

We end up at big foot lounge does not help matters by discussing nakicty at great lengths and outlining all of the good places to “make-out” in the neighborhood. That crazy cupid. So we have fun, and kiss against a wall in a back alley. Yes, It was hot. Read more →

http://www.meca.edu/learning_love/ check this out. Do an assignment. Read more →

I am going to the beach today, Malibu to be exact. I expect the people there will be fabulous, not like me. And they will be tan, not like me. Ever since I was 12 I wanted to be tan and ever since I have been white, with the kind of skin that is transparent under fluorescent light. Childhood trips… Read more →

Ventura: Anyway, the reason you're with this certain person, this certain lover, is not about love, or at least it's not about “having a good relationship”. You're with this person because your soul is hungry for them, your soul is seeking something with or through them, and it will insist on what it wants. It doesn't care what price YOU… Read more →

Hilman: the thing is that two people do go to love for safety, safety for their vulnerability. Both people want to be vulnerable, but as long as you're open and vulnerable nothing is safe. They want safety for their vulnerability, but because of their vulnerability they can't be safe. Read more →

Ventura: You get totally vulnerable and infantile with somebody you're in love with, you're vulnerable to their moods, their needs. And you become more vulnerable to yourself, your own needs. Things you didn't guess were inside you will come out with a loved one, including the fact that you have needs that no one can possibly satisfy. Read more →

Squeeze onto wet pouf, work into a rich, creamy lather, then rinse. Damn these instructions made me laugh hysterically. I read them while taking a bath. Then I blew bubbles underwater for about 30 minutes. My, was it enjoyable. I was completely absorbed in the sounds, the water, the vibrations, the breath…. Then I started thinking how, if someone could… Read more →